Did you just see the Batmobile???
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize