My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
