Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I think my fart just growled at me.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Success! We fucked roommates!
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