was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
