Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize
