You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
