okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Randomize
