its not stalking. its research.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
