It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
