quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
