okay pat passed out under dana's car
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
