If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Randomize
