if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
