Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Randomize
