let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
