gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
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