Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
