I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
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