pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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