Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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