so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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