I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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