she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Randomize
