Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
I currently don't understand fingers.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
