this boner is exhausting
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
