im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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