i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
