he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Randomize
