so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
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