You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
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