barbara walters just said penis...
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
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