We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
