the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
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