wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Randomize
