I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
