what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
