Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
What a fucking waste of an outfit
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Randomize
