I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
