i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize