I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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