Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
