Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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