you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
