Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
