You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
