a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
