I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
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