I'm gonna have a badass scar
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
