the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
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