Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
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