Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
