she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
