with your own penis?
We're like a lot better than the average bears
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
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