you didnt know i had herpes?
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
