YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
