Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
