Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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