is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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