I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
