at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize