I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
