I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize