evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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