its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Randomize
