I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
