Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
