yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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