Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
