Banned from zoo.
Again?
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize