even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
