It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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